Tuesday, September 20, 2011

struggles


struggles.

We all have them.  Some struggles effect us every minute of every day.  Some creep up from time to time.  So we learn to live with and adapt to.

I have been struggling with our nighttime routine for the past month.  Saying good-bye to summer and hello to the classroom has caused a major disruption in our evenings.  I feel frazzled coming home... in a rush to pick up Kate, get dinner on the table, Kate's bath done, dishes washed, items to get ready for the next day, books to read, and a sweet little girl's back to rub.  Many nights I feel like I am behind and running out of time.  I fall into bed way later than I should and I am frustrated that I did not take a moment to breathe or enjoy something I love.  And of course because I am stressed, conversations and interactions with my husband are tense.  This has been a true struggle.  A draining of all-that-I-am-struggle.  Over and over again I have been saying "something has to give, something must change."  Yet I could not figure out what needed to change.  So forth I went, stressed, overwhelmed, not happy, hoping to catch a break of some kind.
Source: google.it via Teri Lynn on Pinterest


Yesterday I caught that break.  My classroom was being used my a girl scout troop and I needed to leave at least twenty minutes earlier than normal.  I got all my after school duties done (except sharpening pencils) and headed out the door.  I was able to pick up Kate earlier than normal, we headed home and we both had time to play and relax before I had to start dinner.  I was able to sit, relax, and take a moment.  I was able to get dinner ready without feeling rushed.  We had a pleasant conversation at the dinner table and not a single stressed moment.  Kate was able to have enough time to play in the bath and after her bath before being rushed off to bed.  And I felt like I could breath again.  Who knew twenty minutes was all it took to change my nighttime routine.  Who knew twenty minutes could make me feel relaxed and calm.  Who knew twenty minutes could bring peace to this house.

I can't leave as early as I did yesterday every day.  I do hope to leave early at least three days a week.  Making this change will force me to let go of some things.  If I get my tasks done, if my students are learning, if the curriculum is taught, if I am ready for the next day, if I know I have done all I can for my students, then I should be able to walk out the door of my school for evening three days a week around 3:40 in the afternoon.  It does not make me a better teacher to stay later, it does not make me a better mom to stay late, it does not make me a better wife to stay late, it does not make me a better person. 


Source: None via Teri Lynn on Pinterest


If leaving twenty minutes earlier brings me inner peace, which leads to some happiness than I need to do it.  For my daughter, for my husband, for my students, for myself.

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Life With Kate has changed over the past four years.  It started as a place to document Kate's life and it has become a space filled with inspiration, tales, and struggles.  It has become a place where I have found a new side to myself and connected with people around the world.  It has become a place where I want to share more than just Kate's milestones and more of me

I want this space to be an authentic, transparent, and  true reflection of me.  I hope to share more of my struggles, my thoughts, my ideas, my stories of motherhood, and the things that inspire and encourage me.  And of course I will continue to share pictures, milestones, and tales of sweet Kate.

Thank you for joining me on this journey!

XOXO,
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1 comment:

  1. Guten Tag from Leipzig, Germany. I've only known your blog as it is now, and I have to say, I love it. Just wanted you to know!

    Charmian
    www.stoneofjoy.com

    ReplyDelete

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