Thursday, August 9, 2012

roller coaster ride

As the summer comes to an end and the school year is days away a question is frequently asked... how was your summer? Every other year I have been able to answer it was great, we did this and that, we had fun, etc. This year I have dreaded being asked that very question. How would I respond? I want to be honest but not negative. I decided to say that it had it's good moments. Not completely negative but leaving the door open to allow those who asked enough understanding that it was not all rainbows and unicorns.

This summer has been a roller coaster ride. It has had highs, lows, twists, and turns. Unexpected drops and lots of anticipation. Nothing could have prepared me for this summer except the experience of it all. I would have never expected Kate to recover the way she did, I would have never expected to be stretched so emotionally as a mom. I would have never guessed that Kate's speech and temperament would be worse, much worse, after having her tonsils removed. I was so unprepared. I felt as though weeks of fun, relaxation, easy going life had been robbed of me. I was angry and a little bitter. I was supposed be deciding what adventure we would be going on not trying to defuse a major tantrum because I asked her to get dressed.

I could have easily stayed stuck in this place of bitterness and disappointment. I could have stayed in the mindset that nothing great came out of this summer. But my perspective has changed (in large part due to this book and this book.) I need to focus on the small moments that made the summer wonderful. Kate played in the ocean, we saw sea lions in their natural habitat, Kate finally put her whole face in the water, and I have read more books than I have in years.

These small moments remind me stay focused on the positive. They remind to look for upside, the thrilling side, of life's roller coaster. For the past two mornings Kate has asked to stand on the front porch to look for constellations. These are the moments I will cherish for a lifetime. I will remember standing on the porch before dawn breaks with my sweet girl pointing at the stars. These moments are tucked away in my heart forever.

This summer was a roller coaster ride. There were moments of great joy and excitement and moments of fear and anxiousness. When someone asks I have choice. I can focus on the joy or the lows. I will share the joys, the fun moments. I will share my thankfulness that Kate's surgery was successful and her speech is slowly coming back. I cannot ignore that fact that Kate's recovery took us on an unexpected turn but I don't have to dwell on it.

This summer will end with a little girl searching for constellations, a trip to the zoo, swimming lessons, splashing in the sprinkler, and s'mores. These small moments will turn into thrilling joy that will stay in my heart for a lifetime.
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p.s. I hope to flood the blog with pictures of our summertime adventures very, very, soon.

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